I had been very busy at work the whole of last week and had missed all the sessions, - and by Sat, I was feeling like something was missing. So on Sat, I sent my trainer, GG, a message that I was missing the exercise. And he immediately replied with how about going to Sinhagad to make up for the week. That, I wasn’t expecting, but I agreed. But it seemed very scary. Now I knew how much I had to climb, and I was starting to feel more and more scared as the day progressed. In fact, I tried to take a nap to forget about it, but only ended by worrying even more. Finally, I decided to try and cancel the plan. I sent GG another message about cancelling. He called up, and convinced me that we should climb up the next day - and that what I was feeling was all 'mental games’ (his words, not mine).I was feeling physically drained and weak in the legs - real physical sensations - it didn’t feel like mental games. It was also my 4th day of the periods, so I was even more sure that it was all physical, that I was really feeling physically weak and drained. And that it was going to be very hard to climb up on Sinhagad the next day. Was also scared that once I started climbing - and had climbed a certain distance, I won’t even be able to turn back - because I’ve still not climbed down. So, once I started, I’ll have to go up - and what if I just couldn’t ?! What if it took me even more time than what it did the first time around. It had taken me 2 hours 40 minsthe first time. What if it takes even longer this time around ? What if my legs just gave up - and it is a pretty steep valley there. All these ‘What ifs’ were really torturing me - all day on Sat. Later in the eve, I was home alone with the twins. And the fridge handle broke, and I cut my hand. My hand was bleeding - and the first thought in my mind was that this is the perfect excuse. Now, I’ve hurt my hand so I can use this excuse for not going for the Sinhagad trek the next day. Struggled with this thought for a while. But I finally convinced myself that I want to find out if what GG was saying was true or not - was it really just mental games, or were these physical sensations real. I thought that someone was telling me that these sensations were all caused by the fear in the mind - they didn’t have a basis in reality… and I felt that I should explore if thats true or not. So I ended up not using the excuse of my hurt hand, put a band-aid on the cut and decided that I’ll go for the trek.The next morning, GG arrived at 5:15 and we started to go towards Sinhagad. I can only guess that he noticed how nervous I felt. And he kept talking and motivating me with stories about people who have accomplished a lot. We started climbing - it was still dark - It was 6:15 when we started to climb. The weather was perfect - not too cold nor warm. GG kept the atmosphere light - he kept talking, or rather he asked me about my week - and I had a lot to say - esp about the new responsibility that I was taking on at work. So I kept talking about that, or rather he kept me talking about that until he mentioned that we’d already passed 5 different points where we’d stopped the first time around. Now that was a real surprise to me - since I was walking at a steady pace (slow but steady), and wasn’t feeling tired at all until that point. Really! Had we really come that far ? I wasn’t able to find that weak sensation in my legs - and started to feel more confident about the trek. It slowly stared to get light - and what a view that was. The sun was creeping out from behind the mountains. ! The sunrise was just amazing - it was breathtakingly beautiful. And I was glad that I’d come for the trek - esp in the morning. And we kept climbing - and talking (which made the climb enjoyable). This time around, the climb was actually much easier than the first time. We had reached up in less than 2 hours. And I wasn’t feeling tired at all. Was that really me who had climbed all the way up? The feeling was just amazing!! So all those weak sensations were really the mind playing games. Because if it was reality, I would’ve felt that when climbing. But once I started climbing, I didn’t remember the drained feeling or the weak legs. It was just about going up - concentrating on the next step - and enjoying the beauty around. Yes, this time around I was also able to notice a little of the beauty around. It was all so fresh and green. So wonderfully alive! And it was such an great feeling to have trekked all the way up!
Later, we came down by the jeep, had breakfast at a place near the farm. And we were back home by 10:30-11:00 - it was a wonderful morning!
Such a nice way to start the day.
The wonderful feeling, the achievement feeling, the good feeling stayed with me all day, even the next day.
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